If We Didn't Write It, You Couldn't Quote It!

"Of all the lousy gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine," "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn," "I'd kiss you but I've just washed my hair," "It's hard to believe so much shite could come out of one dog," "Beautiful? She was genetically engineered by super aliens in a secret underground lab on the planet Attractive, deep in the Fuck Me, She's Gorgeous nebula!" Okay, so maybe the last line isn't famous (it's from a still-unproduced TToH script), but these lines wouldn't be a part of our lives if a writer didn't write them.

Writers do get a raw deal. There's an old joke that goes something like this: A list of people who will make changes to your script ...
The producer.
The director.
The script editor.
The actor.
The guy who brings the coffee.
Anyone on set that day.
You.

Whenever a film comes out, the first question usually is 'what's it about?', the next question is invariably one of the following: 'who's in it?' and 'who directed it?' What we seem to forget is that film is story - we go to the flicks to catch a good (if we're lucky) yarn - and you don't have a story without a writer. Nobody would be making money if a writer didn't sit down and type the words 'fade in'. Writers are forgotten. Who wrote Casablanca?

The Irish Playwright And Screenwriter's Guild converged on the Sony and 20th Century Fox offices on Wednesday to show their support for the WGA strike stateside. Striking to "put a value on their creativity, their work and their stories," there was a decent turn out and you can watch some of that footage, courtesy of the Irish Playwright And Screenwriter's Guild Blog. There is also more footage from around the globe at Youtube's Day Of Support.

The Embiggend O

Unless you're Pat McCabe or Cecelia Ahern, the chances of your book being optioned and produced are slimmer than a slim thing. However, if ever there was a book screaming out for an adaptation it would be Declan Burke's (right) The Big O, which has just been nominated for 'Best Novel - New Voice' at the prestigious Spinetingler Awards. Published by Hag's Head, The Big O has just been picked up by Harcourt publishing stateside and the reviews are getting better every week: RTE called it "a smart, cynical twist-tastic romp ... just crying out for a movie treatment...Message for Paddy Breathnach: read this and go eat Hollywood" Which was nice. You can catch the rest of the reviews (and damn are they good) over at Crime Always Pays. So what's the story?

It’s your standard boy-meets-girl romance, except Ray meets Karen when she sticks a .44 in his face during a stick-up on a gas station. Enough to freak any guy out, right? Well, maybe – but Ray’s not just any guy. He’s a babysitter. Need a wife held while the boys walk her husband into his bank at four in the morning? Ray’s your guy, for 10% on the gross.

Trouble is, there’s a Balkan crew bunkering in around town and Ray’s old boss, The Fridge, has gone the way of all fridges – punctured at the bottom of a canal. So Ray’s getting out.

Trouble is, Karen can’t afford to get out. She’s got Anna’s special needs to worry about, and working receptionist for a plastic surgeon, Frank, won’t pay those kind of bills. Her best friend Madge would love to help, but Madge has enough on her plate worrying about how she’s going to put the twins through college, especially as Madge has never worked a day in her life and is facing into a ruinous divorce, from Frank

Trouble is, Frank can’t afford the divorce. Not when he’s got Genevieve sucking on him everywhere except the one place she should. What Frank does have, though, is comprehensive insurance, the kind that includes peace of mind if an iceberg falls on your yacht, or if you need to pay ransom in the unlikely event of your wife getting herself kidnapped.

So it’d make sense, right, for Karen, Ray, Frank and Madge to have a sit-down, maybe see if they can’t screw the insurance company if they pool their resources …?

Trouble is, Karen’s pyscho ex, Rossi Francis Assisi Callaghan, is out on the streets after a five-stretch for armed robbery and he needs his .44, his Ducati super-bike and his sixty grand stash if he’s to finally go legit with his planned support group for ex-cons, the Francis Assisi Rehabilitation Concern, aka FARC – all of which, in one shape or another, Karen has long ago re-invested in Anna’s special needs. And then there’s Detective Doyle, early 30s and a long time bored with banging her head against that old glass ceiling, who can’t decide if she’d prefer to take down a big kidnapping score to piss off the boys down the station, or a little horizontal jogging with this guy she’s just met, a real charmer called Ray …

A comedy crime caper-gone-wrong in the mould of Elmore Leonard and rooted in a Celtic Tiger kidnapping, The Big O is a furiously paced multi-character tale of modern Ireland. Karen, Ray, Madge, Frank, Rossi and Doyle: trouble is … their business.

TToH like to wish Declan the best of luck...

Too Much, Too Young

Any young filmmaker in Ireland will know how tough it is to break into the film industry. Unreturned phone calls and ignored emails have them banging their heads up against a brick wall – without ever knowing if it’s the right wall. Stephen Byrne, a 25-year-old producer, kick-started the Waterford Film Festival this year while Michael Lafferty, a 21-year-old from Clady in Co. Tyrone joined the Young Irish Filmmakers on Youtube. He has his own blog where he tells us that he is going to make a video diary of his trials and tribulations of becoming a filmmaker.

For his final year college project, Michael wrote and directed a short film called ‘The Hitman’, which is “a story about revenge and murder” (handy given the title). Renamed The Vendetta, Michael tried his luck by entering it into the New York International Independent Film Festival. The film was greeted warmly stateside (it won the Best Action Genre For A Short Film) and Michael has since applied for funding his new film. We’ll let Michael tell his own here, and you can catch the first part of The Vendetta below.

A Barrage Of Awards For Garage

What a difference a weekend makes – 48 little hours. It was four times a charm for Lenny Abrahamson et al as Garage scooped four awards last weekend. Garage picked up the Jury Award in Festival de Chatenay-Malabry and at the Festival Cinessonne, it took the Gran Prix award and the Prix De Etudiants. Bloody students – no good for nothin’ no how. They can’t even speak English good. Meanwhile, down at Monte Carlo, Pat Shortt (right) ran away (not very quickly, mind) with Best Actor. We've included link to the various websites, but they seem to be in some foreign language. We’re delighted for all involved and believe that Garage will go on to do better things.

P.T! Good For You And Good For Me!

We’re big fans of P.T. Anderson (Boogie Nights, Magnolia) at TToH and we look forward to his There Will Be Blood, starring Daniel Day-Lewis and Ciarán Hinds.

Based (albeit loosely) on Upton Sinclair’s novel Oil!, There Will Be Blood takes place at the turn of the 20^th century where tycoon Daniel Plainview (Day-Lewis) strikes it rich after gaining drilling rights on a plot of family land in a backwater town in Texas.

It has been described as the “first great American film on the 21^st century,” and rumour has it that it’s not that Anderson will get his first Oscar, it’ll be how many. Anderson and Day-Lewis aren’t the most prolific (Anderson has only made three films in the last ten years, the previous one being 2002’s Punch Drunk Love; ditto for Day-Lewis except for the Punch Drunk Love part) and the fact that they’ve come together for the same project makes this a more interesting prospect. With one of our favourite up-and-comers Paul Dano (The King, Little Miss Sunshine, The Ballad Of Jack And Rose) in the cast and a soundtrack by Radiohead’s Jonny Greenwood, TToH believe that There Will Be Blood will be Giant. Here’s the trailer. Mmm, good...

They Wrong, We Write

The Irish Playwright And Screenwriters Guild is having a meeting tomorrow at 2pm in the Guild office, Art House, Curved Street, Temple Bar, to support the WGA. If you’re doing nowt and fancy a good shun – something we Irish are the best at – get your ass down there.

The Guild say have promised to: "supply the WGA t-shirts, and placards like they've got on YouTube. You can even make your own. A sample slogan is: "they wrong, we write".

Once we're kitted out we'll travel to outside Twentieth Century Fox for a short demonstration, and then onto Sony Pictures. Please turn up and show your solidarity with our fellow writers in the USA. They have put their careers and incomes on the line to highlight their essential contribution to the film industry, and to request proper remuneration for their creative talent. This is a struggle that writers across the globe can appreciate.”

At 4.30pm, there’s an end of year ‘sausages and drinks’ do. Gift! In the meantime, check out this industry in-joke – THE WGA STRIKE GETS VIOLENT...

TToH ‘Boy A-nt’ About Crowley/O’Rowe Collaboration (What We’ve Seen Anyway)

There we go again – sometimes bad wordplay, if it’s consistent, can become genius. Or so we like to believe. Anyway, apologies for those queuing up for the Boy A review, but TToH can say in all honesty that missing most of the film was not their fault...

You see, when we left the computer to catch the film on Channel 4 at 9pm last night, TToH found that Mrs. TToH had occupied the television watching America’s Next Top Model. Since she had a long day AND cooked dinner (a delightful stir fry), TToH relented, pressed record on the DVD player and read for a while. Two hours later and horror of horrors – the blasted, confounded, curse-o’-God DVD player cut out a half-an-hour in.

The film opens with a 24-year-old boy (Andrew Garfield, above right) waiting release from prison. Given the name ‘Jack’, he is taken to a new town by his friendly parole officer (Peter Mullan) and lands a job at an airport where he makes a friend (in Anthony Lewis) and a date with the saucy secretary. Using the occasional flashbacks to the build up to the killing, TToH was disappointed to find that the boy he killed was a bully; we felt the film would have more bite if the kid were the quiet type. The DVD cut out just as ‘Jack’ reads a daily tabloid documenting his release from prison, with the headline ‘Evil Comes Of Age’.

The Intermission team seem to compliment each other: O’Rowe’s dialogue was stripped back while Crowley let the script to the talking. Mullan was restrained and Garfield gives ‘Jack’ that fish-out-of-water awkwardness but delivered it with subtlety. What we’ve seen impressed us immensely and according to Declan Burke at Crime Always Pays, the remainder was “top notch.” If you managed to catch the film, please leave a comment with your thoughts.